A few weeks ago I was getting ready to run another one of my Creative Writing Workshops for teens and young adults. I was, understandably, nervous. I always am before a workshop no matter how many times I run one… It doesn’t matter that I spend all day working with children in my full time job as a Learning Support Assistant…. Nor does it matter that I am an uncle to four beautiful nieces and a nephew, and big brother to five siblings… Or all the time passed or experience I have gained— the nerves always win (not that I ever show it).
The thing with Creative Writing workshops, is you never know what to expect. Of course, it is always great to go in with a plan, a structured outline of what the session will cover, and what participants can hope to achieve in the allotted time. However, things don’t always go to plan. You never really know who is going to show up, and what their relationship with writing is.Some come in fresh and new, which is fantastic, it means that new writers are emerging which is always a delight to see. Some come with a background in writing already, perhaps they’re already published or are working on a project they just need help pushing through to the finish line. But no matter who they are, they always come with questions, or their own personal goal they want to achieve from the session. As a result my workshops do sometimes shift away from the plan slightly. This is exciting, and all the attendees always have great things to say after, but it also adds to the nerves… Never knowing what to expect.
When I was preparing for the workshop, I was excited. I had a great plan at the ready, plenty of resources, I even had some of my own books and books by other authors I credit to show off. I always bring a variety of different work along to show that Creativity can mean anything you want it to. My favourite book to bring is House of Leaves by Mark Z Danielewski. I bring this with me because if anything is going to show how “out there” Writing can be, it’s that book. Text upside down. Pages you can only read in the mirror. Multiple font sizes, styles, and colours. Text splayed out diagonally, in corners, in columns. Some pages have barely any text on them at all, where others are crammed full. Students always love flicking through and realising how exciting Creative Writing can be.
The night before the workshop, I was nervous as usual. But I hadn’t run a workshop in a while so the excitement of getting “back on the horse” overuled this. The next morning I travelled 3 hours to attend. I wouldn’t normally go this far for a workshop, but it was part of a festival that is very dear to my heart, so the distance didn’t bother me.
When I arrived I met up with some fantastic authors I hadn’t seen for a long time. Too long in fact. It was so great catching up with them and finding out what they were up to. I would have loved to have stayed longer, but it was on to the library to get set up. By this point the nerves were surfacing again as they usually do, but I knew what to expect and I had everything ready. All that was left to do was wait for people to arrive.
Only I waited.
And I waited.
And I waited.
And for the first time in four years. Not a single person showed up. Not one.
Let me be clear, I don’t blame the festival for this. Nor do I blame myself. Unfortunately, I just believe it was one of those things. I know what you’re thinking — why didn’t I confirm numbers before setting out on such a long trip? Normally, I would have. Although, on this occasion there were no sign ups as the festival had previously done this at other events I’d run, but most of the young people attending would be walk-ins. Not to mention this festival was close to my heart, so I was happy to attend regardless to show my support.Part of me felt a sense of relief. After such a long, stressful drive, it was nice not to have to stand for an hour and work. But another part of me was absolutely gutted. How could not one person show up? Especially when I’d run other workshops in the town and knew for a fact there were many young people interested. Some had even reached out to me via email to ask for advice, or when I would be back.
Turning a negative into a positive, I decided to spend the time working on some writing. Before heading over to support another author by attending her writing workshop for adults across the road. It was a great experience and I’m glad things worked out for her, with such a fantastic turnout.You may think something like this would absolutely knock my confidence. Especially considering how I am in the process of setting up workshops more regularly again in the New Year.However, reflecting on this I realised something. For the longest time my biggest fear about my workshops was the question “what if nobody turns up?”
Now that I’ve experienced it. Now that I’ve seen that the world didn’t end. I no longer need to ask myself “what if?” because now I know how to handle it, and exactly what to expect.I know this experience is in no way a reflection of me or my ability as a writer and a tutor. I know that it is, in fact, just one of those things.So, what do I do going forward? Short answer — simply keep going. Of course, the wise thing to do would be to confirm a rough idea of numbers beforehand, and believe me, I will. However, the important thing to take from all of this is sometimes things will happen that you simply cannot predict.
All you can do is brush yourself off, be thankful for the opportunity and experience, and just keep pressing forward.And that is exactly what I am going to do.
Chasing Driftwood Books 